Boom. 2012.

It's been one week of 2013 and yet I'm still floored at how God has provided a hundred-fold for me in 2012. I know I couldn't do Him justice, but I hope to highlight some great moments in 2012 and maybe one day when I looked back at my 20's, I'll see how fortunate I was in 2012 to be blessed by a God who gives relentless.

2012 was:

-My first full year of work. I don't think I was ever super excited about work when I was in college. I always thought it was a means to a end. It was a place to develop your character and skillset and make some money to live. Yet, throughout 2012, I kept questioning God why I am an accountant. (To be honest, I still do...lucky me). But I don't think God ever answered that question. He wasn't keen on that question. He cared more about me relying on Him to endure the toils of worklife. Work is tough. It can be relaxing and joyous, but it is mainly tough and taxing. Yet through it all, work in 2012 was a blessing. I was able to engage in some spiritual conversations during my busiest of seasons. I was fortunate to work on an engagement with a great senior and coworkers. And even though it was out-of-town, it was still close to home and Austin. I was blessed with opportunities to see my friends and family there. I was able to enjoy the fullness of a flexible schedule, not-so heavy hours, and the perks of traveling. For all the moaning I do about work, I had it easy in 2012. I'm super fortunate. I got a decent raise. I didn't travel to deserted cities like others. I didn't have to log long hours on the weekends like others. I didn't get fired like others. Thank you God for showing me mercy during my first full year. May my moaning be shouts of praise in 2013.
-Trying times with family, yet hearts are being mended. 2012 was by far the hardest year in dealing with my family. May I never ever forget the pain and hurt of broken relationships this past year. May I never forget the amount of tears shed over the bitterness and hate I had in my heart. May I never forget my deepest desires to turn my back on my family. Only then will I truly cherish the grandeur of God's grace. I do not deserve this family to begin with. My year alone would have been sufficient for thousands of people who deal with the brokenness of family for their entire lives. I count it a blessing to hurt and hate. For only then do I realize that sweet tastes of reconciliation and mended hearts. God is still working in my heart. That is truth. I am thankful for my mother who put up with my moaning and whining all year. Who sacrificially provided food and shelter to my impatient, selfish attitude. For being always naggy and invasive of my personal space because she cared. I know 2013 will be different without her. Her optimistic attitude of forgiveness and perseverance is something worth being praised about. She has suffered much for our family. I will always remember the fight in her. I hope I find a girl who fights for her family like my mother. A true trooper. A true warrior of faith. Thank you, God for blessing me with a mother like this.
-Biblical community like no other. I am astonished to see God's fruit in biblical community in 2012 at DCFC. I came back home with no expectations. None. I wasn't even sure I would stick around. I'm glad the youth group was always something that kept me connected to the church during high school and college. I'm thankful for the perseverance of my brothers and sisters who stuck around at DCFC for years while community seemed to be dying away. God has definitely rewarded (if not, more abundantly in the future) them in the fruits of their labor. I blows my mind that a simple workout can turn into prayer, then into spiritual discussion, then into a group for encouragement and sharpening, then into church models, then into community groups. All of this happening in a span of a little over a year. *MIND BLOWN* To say that God has great power to transform people and situation would be an understatement. The Spirit was definitely moving in 2012. The Spirit was not only moving, it was hopping. I cannot count how many times I was blessed with meaningful conversations, meaningful prayers, meaningful rebukings, meaningful encounters with the triune God. I would have never guessed that 1 year out of college would be the biggest year for spiritual transformation in my life. Granted it wasn't all cupcakes and sprinkles, but God transformed the way I read the Bible, the way I prayed, the way I encouraged. He reminded me that service was not for myself, but for Him alone. He showed me how biblical communities change and struggle, but His Word remains the same. He showed me the passion of my brothers and sisters and how they can impact how you see the world and the people in it. He showed me that life would be utterly useless with biblical community. The world could not satisfy my weekends. I could only eat so many meals. I could only watch so much sports. I could only sleep so much. Community was life for me and it gave me meaning. Though physically my body would hurt from my lack of sleep, I experienced some of the greatest memories with my church community. Late nights after youth group. Underball. Late night meals. Celebrating birthdays. Running Firefly together. Eating more meals. Intense prayer time. Many parties and goofing around. More eating meals. Worshipping together. Serving together. Living life together.

Okay, those were the main aspects of my life. Other things I want to remember in 2012.
-working out consistently! get big baby!
-driving ranges on Saturdays
-DCCYC
-hockey games
-baseball games
-new nephew Jacob!
-nephew Tyler growing to be a G
-july 4th bbq
-church retreats!
-triple threat softball
-gymclassallstars
-smartphone s3
-best birthday weekend ever. ever. ever.
-vacations to Cali and Chicago with great brothers
-attending 2 spectacular weddings - Andy & Cynthia and Ben & Christine
-most karaoke in my life
-the book of Acts, Romans, and James
-parable of the sower
-my bucket list
-more to come as i continue to reflect

Great year but definitely ready for 2013. Dreaming big.

30 Before 30

I thank God for the many blessings that I quite frankly don't deserve. I don't have a perfect life in the world's eyes, but God has uniquely created many opportunities for me to see His grandeur and sovereignty. When I turned 25, I started to really see how God has shaped me throughout the years of high school and college. I started really give God thanks for the relationships He put in my life (and kept in my life). It was a great feeling to know that I never made anything happen, but that God made it happen for me. Never did I think I would get so plugged into a campus fellowship. Never did I think I would have a close kit of brothers to share life with. Never did I think I would travel Europe and see God's creation of nature and culture.

When I turned 25, people called me old. Quarter to a century, but who knows how long God will grant me. I do want to make the most of my opportunities. I want to make the most of my "youthfulness", my singleness, my time, my energy, my finances, my relationships, my "freedom", my recklessness, my eagerness, my adventureness, etcness. So I made a bucket list. 30 things to do before 30 yrs old. I don't expect to cross them all off, but it would be cool to be blessed with these opportunities. May I not forget it is God who provides these things, not I. I hope to document them throughout these next 4.5 years. And GO!

1. Snorkel the Great Barrier Reef
2. Hit golf balls off a cliff into the Atlantic Ocean
3. Swim with dolphins
4. Skydive
5. Ride bikes off the coast of Hawaii
6. Run a 10-K
7. Attend a championship for any of 4 major sports (football, basketball, hockey, baseball)
8. ACL Festival
9. Learn a new instrument
10. Camp at the Grand Canyon
11. Go to Vegas post 21 yrs
12. PASSION Conference
13. Get a dog
14. Shoot a rifle
15. Baptize someone
16. See Cirque du Soeil
17. Go to a live musical
18. Go back to Disneyworld
19. Overseas missions
20. Eat Maine lobster
21. Visit 5 US national parks from list (Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Smokies, Yellowstone, Rockies, Acadia, Olympic, Grand Teton, Cuyahoga Valley)
22. Stargaze in an open field
23. Go to an EPL/La Liga/International Soccer game
24. Climb Chichen Itza
25. Go surfing
26. View the Aurora Borealis in Yellowknife, Canada
27. Learn how to read Chinese
28. Buy a new car
29. Buy a house
30. Get married

Cold Shower

May I never forget the night I took the coldest shower ever.

I love when God shows me how His blessings have been abundant in my life. I'll never take hot water for granted. ever. again. ever.

Your blessings are so rich. Thank you.

Doors Open and Doors Close

1 wreck. 6 hours of traffic. Many great truths.

"How can a God who truly loves His creations not be faithful when they are faithful to Him." How can He not?

May I be faithful even when life says otherwise. It can't always go my way. Give thanks and move on. God is still good.

Live, Learn, Abide

It's funny how I graduated college hoping the God would use me to do great things in the corporate world. The corporate world is a tough, tough world. Much of it lies in the money, power, and deceitfulness of personal gain. But I've been encouraged this week as God has used my coworker to shed great truth to me. I thought it would be me sharing truth to others, but God has been bigger than that in using others to share truth with me. It's great to share spiritual encouragement with a fellow brother even if work suffocates us. He shared how many Christians love to profess their faith and trust in God, but stop at that. How we will pray for His sovereignty, but fail to join in the partnership with Him. How we expect things to be placed in our laps, sitting right before us. Rather he encouraged me to not only trust in the Lord and pray earnestly for His sovereignty, but to also be aware of the doors He opens and to pursue righteous things with God in mind. He didn't say it word for word like that, but the message was clear to me. Our God is a God of relationships. He wants us to partake in the joys of the world with Him. When we pray for things, He expects us to join Him in these prayers. Too many times I have earnestly prayed for the future or the many question marks in my life and kinda just sat back and been a spectator. Maybe God wants me to get up and get with it. I see God opening doors and yet sometimes I'm just so insecure to step forward. I use to hate question marks in life. I use to hate myself for being so insecure with trust and loyalty. What's done is done. I'm looking forward to 2013 to be a year to really be led by faith. I cherish my faith, but I need to cherish my actions too. I don't want to be a spectator anymore. I want to take some risks and know that God is with me taking those same risks.

Fear not. Take risks. Abide in Him. In it to win it, baby.

Isaiah 40:31

I am reminded how blessed it is to heard a message that speaks to your heart.

"but those who hope in the Lord


will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:31

May I be reminded that our God isnt one who is silent, but rather speaks clearly and loudly. Too many times do I just assumed God is making me wait for things. I play into my own insecurities as I drag out things in my head and start to overthink everything...I'm tired of feeling so insecure with myself. So tired of feeling unconfident (as one person told me this past year). Gotta find that mojo. Gotta get back in the game. No more second-guesses. I need to take more risks. But in all of this, I will not stop putting my hope in the Lord. May He guide me with steadfast wisdom and love. May I be empowered by His Spirit. I would love to run and not grow weary. I would love to soar on wings like eagles. I think that'd be pretty darn cool.

I'm excited for these next few months. Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose.

thus begins my busy season

i love reading this blog. i love to see how i once thought and how i just jotted it down. i love to think about the happy times i got to experience in europe as well as the tough times where all i had was this seemingly white screen and some keys. it's truly remarkable that it has already been a year and a half since i graduated college. so much has happened, yet there are so many things that i am hoping for in these next years.

im encouraged to read my once daily devotions. its truly a testimony to see how God has encouraged me to read the Scripture more this year. i hate reading. i hate it. but Scripture has been so good to me. nights where i just dont want to pick it up, even the simplest of sentences give me a breathe of fresh air. though i have not written my qts in a while, let me not forget about the wonder books that i got to experience this year. lately, it has been the book of jonah where God called one of his own prophets to love with compassion. oh, jonah. you silly little man. you cannot escape the God of the earth and sea. likewise, i cannot escape him. He will faithfully pursue me and use me for His good just as He did with Jonah. and though jonah's heart was hardened as a man's heart is typically, God revealed that He is a God of all His people. no man's heart will outweigh His own. God serves as a compassionate God. i love that. may i also remember the book of psalm where king david writes his deepest, inner-most feelings towards God. man, i can definitely relate with the psalms. he cries out to God as any human being does, but he is reassured that God hears him. but not only hears, He delivers. and thus, he praises Him all of his days. may that be my anthem too.

as my busy season starts and the nights in a hotel room start to accumulate, i am sad to be away from community, but happy to be in some type of solitude. i do hope my weekends are filled with great community. great laughter. and great fun. but more importantly, i hope my weekdays are filled with great rest. great thinking. and great pursuit of Christ. it would be a pity to throw away this opportunity just bc i feel bored or lonely. i have the rest of my life to be married. with a family. in community. i guess traveling when youre young is something i must embrace. the nights will be lonely. the nights will be pretty boring. but i know i wont go crazy from that. i will be challenged to be disciplined in my sleep schedule, my physical well-being, my emotional emo-ness, and my spiritual fulfillment. honestly, i need this time. i think too much. i need to just think things out and pray. pray pray pray. may i be disciplined these next few months.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

1.Corinthians.9.24-27

Lord, i surrender all the question marks in my life right now. may i be patient with my family. patient with my job. patient with my biblical community. patient with my feelings towards others. be my peace.