Thursday, January 24, 2013

Onward

Before I could ever ask someone for forgiveness, I need to forgive myself.

I forgive you. Now let's move on and learn how to be a better man of God.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

January 2013

God, I know I'll look back on this month and know just how good you are to me. Just get me to February.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Boom. 2012.

It's been one week of 2013 and yet I'm still floored at how God has provided a hundred-fold for me in 2012. I know I couldn't do Him justice, but I hope to highlight some great moments in 2012 and maybe one day when I looked back at my 20's, I'll see how fortunate I was in 2012 to be blessed by a God who gives relentless.

2012 was:

-My first full year of work. I don't think I was ever super excited about work when I was in college. I always thought it was a means to a end. It was a place to develop your character and skillset and make some money to live. Yet, throughout 2012, I kept questioning God why I am an accountant. (To be honest, I still do...lucky me). But I don't think God ever answered that question. He wasn't keen on that question. He cared more about me relying on Him to endure the toils of worklife. Work is tough. It can be relaxing and joyous, but it is mainly tough and taxing. Yet through it all, work in 2012 was a blessing. I was able to engage in some spiritual conversations during my busiest of seasons. I was fortunate to work on an engagement with a great senior and coworkers. And even though it was out-of-town, it was still close to home and Austin. I was blessed with opportunities to see my friends and family there. I was able to enjoy the fullness of a flexible schedule, not-so heavy hours, and the perks of traveling. For all the moaning I do about work, I had it easy in 2012. I'm super fortunate. I got a decent raise. I didn't travel to deserted cities like others. I didn't have to log long hours on the weekends like others. I didn't get fired like others. Thank you God for showing me mercy during my first full year. May my moaning be shouts of praise in 2013.
-Trying times with family, yet hearts are being mended. 2012 was by far the hardest year in dealing with my family. May I never ever forget the pain and hurt of broken relationships this past year. May I never forget the amount of tears shed over the bitterness and hate I had in my heart. May I never forget my deepest desires to turn my back on my family. Only then will I truly cherish the grandeur of God's grace. I do not deserve this family to begin with. My year alone would have been sufficient for thousands of people who deal with the brokenness of family for their entire lives. I count it a blessing to hurt and hate. For only then do I realize that sweet tastes of reconciliation and mended hearts. God is still working in my heart. That is truth. I am thankful for my mother who put up with my moaning and whining all year. Who sacrificially provided food and shelter to my impatient, selfish attitude. For being always naggy and invasive of my personal space because she cared. I know 2013 will be different without her. Her optimistic attitude of forgiveness and perseverance is something worth being praised about. She has suffered much for our family. I will always remember the fight in her. I hope I find a girl who fights for her family like my mother. A true trooper. A true warrior of faith. Thank you, God for blessing me with a mother like this.
-Biblical community like no other. I am astonished to see God's fruit in biblical community in 2012 at DCFC. I came back home with no expectations. None. I wasn't even sure I would stick around. I'm glad the youth group was always something that kept me connected to the church during high school and college. I'm thankful for the perseverance of my brothers and sisters who stuck around at DCFC for years while community seemed to be dying away. God has definitely rewarded (if not, more abundantly in the future) them in the fruits of their labor. I blows my mind that a simple workout can turn into prayer, then into spiritual discussion, then into a group for encouragement and sharpening, then into church models, then into community groups. All of this happening in a span of a little over a year. *MIND BLOWN* To say that God has great power to transform people and situation would be an understatement. The Spirit was definitely moving in 2012. The Spirit was not only moving, it was hopping. I cannot count how many times I was blessed with meaningful conversations, meaningful prayers, meaningful rebukings, meaningful encounters with the triune God. I would have never guessed that 1 year out of college would be the biggest year for spiritual transformation in my life. Granted it wasn't all cupcakes and sprinkles, but God transformed the way I read the Bible, the way I prayed, the way I encouraged. He reminded me that service was not for myself, but for Him alone. He showed me how biblical communities change and struggle, but His Word remains the same. He showed me the passion of my brothers and sisters and how they can impact how you see the world and the people in it. He showed me that life would be utterly useless with biblical community. The world could not satisfy my weekends. I could only eat so many meals. I could only watch so much sports. I could only sleep so much. Community was life for me and it gave me meaning. Though physically my body would hurt from my lack of sleep, I experienced some of the greatest memories with my church community. Late nights after youth group. Underball. Late night meals. Celebrating birthdays. Running Firefly together. Eating more meals. Intense prayer time. Many parties and goofing around. More eating meals. Worshipping together. Serving together. Living life together.

Okay, those were the main aspects of my life. Other things I want to remember in 2012.
-working out consistently! get big baby!
-driving ranges on Saturdays
-DCCYC
-hockey games
-baseball games
-new nephew Jacob!
-nephew Tyler growing to be a G
-july 4th bbq
-church retreats!
-triple threat softball
-gymclassallstars
-smartphone s3
-best birthday weekend ever. ever. ever.
-vacations to Cali and Chicago with great brothers
-attending 2 spectacular weddings - Andy & Cynthia and Ben & Christine
-most karaoke in my life
-the book of Acts, Romans, and James
-parable of the sower
-my bucket list
-more to come as i continue to reflect

Great year but definitely ready for 2013. Dreaming big.