i love reading this blog. i love to see how i once thought and how i just jotted it down. i love to think about the happy times i got to experience in europe as well as the tough times where all i had was this seemingly white screen and some keys. it's truly remarkable that it has already been a year and a half since i graduated college. so much has happened, yet there are so many things that i am hoping for in these next years.
im encouraged to read my once daily devotions. its truly a testimony to see how God has encouraged me to read the Scripture more this year. i hate reading. i hate it. but Scripture has been so good to me. nights where i just dont want to pick it up, even the simplest of sentences give me a breathe of fresh air. though i have not written my qts in a while, let me not forget about the wonder books that i got to experience this year. lately, it has been the book of jonah where God called one of his own prophets to love with compassion. oh, jonah. you silly little man. you cannot escape the God of the earth and sea. likewise, i cannot escape him. He will faithfully pursue me and use me for His good just as He did with Jonah. and though jonah's heart was hardened as a man's heart is typically, God revealed that He is a God of all His people. no man's heart will outweigh His own. God serves as a compassionate God. i love that. may i also remember the book of psalm where king david writes his deepest, inner-most feelings towards God. man, i can definitely relate with the psalms. he cries out to God as any human being does, but he is reassured that God hears him. but not only hears, He delivers. and thus, he praises Him all of his days. may that be my anthem too.
as my busy season starts and the nights in a hotel room start to accumulate, i am sad to be away from community, but happy to be in some type of solitude. i do hope my weekends are filled with great community. great laughter. and great fun. but more importantly, i hope my weekdays are filled with great rest. great thinking. and great pursuit of Christ. it would be a pity to throw away this opportunity just bc i feel bored or lonely. i have the rest of my life to be married. with a family. in community. i guess traveling when youre young is something i must embrace. the nights will be lonely. the nights will be pretty boring. but i know i wont go crazy from that. i will be challenged to be disciplined in my sleep schedule, my physical well-being, my emotional emo-ness, and my spiritual fulfillment. honestly, i need this time. i think too much. i need to just think things out and pray. pray pray pray. may i be disciplined these next few months.
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."
1.Corinthians.9.24-27
Lord, i surrender all the question marks in my life right now. may i be patient with my family. patient with my job. patient with my biblical community. patient with my feelings towards others. be my peace.
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